Underwater
Alien keeps getting remade — and, 40-plus years later, keeps looking stronger and stronger with each new pretender.
Three years after the barely passable, space-set Life, the tired premise of an out-of-its-league exploration team being picked off one by one by a powerful entity is transposed to the ocean floor in the rote, noisy Underwater.
Viewers who enjoyed last summer’s Godzilla: King of the Monsters and its loud, dark aquatic shenanigans may respond similarly to even less visible adventures under the guidance of William Eubank (The Signal) — who, after ripping off the new Godzilla films’ use of newspaper headlines as an expository tool, at least wastes little time kicking the plot into gear.
Within minutes of establishing the reported dangers of drilling for resources in the Mariana Trench, the film heads to the deep sea base in question and has crew member Norah (Kristen Stewart) running for her life from a series of explosions.
Subsequent scenes with fellow stragglers Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie, Patti Cake$), Smith (John Gallagher Jr.), Emily (Jessica Henwick, Nymeria Sand from Game of Thrones), Paul (T.J. Miller, sadly failing at comic relief), and Capt. Lucien (Vincent Cassel), however, lack the opening’s clear, frantic energy. They also shy away from potential claustrophobic chills and other plausibly creative terrors inherent to the circumstances — the victim of a rushed script and possible recuts over the two years it sat on Fox’s shelves.
Instead, Underwater is yet another sci-fi/horror film where characters behold the unknown and repeatedly voice their befuddlement — and behave like the human sacrifices they are, unable to recognize obvious danger, even with others imploring them to abstain from moronic behavior.
Trekking across the lowest spot on Earth with oxygen amounts that seem to vary depending on how long it takes to get from Point A to Point B, the survivors are besieged by malevolent creatures in eardrum-rattling attacks from the murky surroundings, making the film a closer cousin to the 47 Meters Down series than anything involving Ellen Ripley.
Furthermore, the decent cast isn’t allowed to show any of their acting abilities and, in keeping with the muddle cinematography, are frequently difficult to understand. And while escapists may argue that award-winning performances aren’t the point here, Eubank indeed manages to craft a few sharp visual moments.
If monster movie enthusiasts are still awake in the final act, a certain climactic sight may incite cheers, or at least a warm, fuzzy feeling — but a handful of memorable images aren’t nearly enough to compensate for the surrounding garbage.
Grade: D. Rated PG-13. Now playing at AMC Classic, Biltmore Grande, and Carolina Cinemark
Bruce Steele adds: If anything, Edwin’s review is generous, since Underwater is a sad failure in writing, direction and special effects, and the performances suffer from the filmmakers’ inability to define their characters.
A newspaper colleague and I used to challenge one another to review new movies in just five words, and for this one it’s simple: “Stop trying to remake Alien!”
There’s a reason this movie has sat on the shelf for nearly two years, dumped by Twentieth Century Fox’s new Disney bosses to take the financial loss and move on. Indeed, there are so many discontinuities in the movie — characters appearing in new clothes or new locations without explanation — that it’s clear someone tried to rescue a bigger mess of a movie by paring it down to about 90 minutes.
It didn’t help. Whatever inspired these producers and would-be creatives to devote time and money to this tepid, derivative bore has been lost at sea.
(Photo: Alan Markfield/Twentieth Century Fox)
