Eternals

Now the masses have been schooled in Eternals, the latest super-powered adventure through space and time that layers a whole new mythology onto the Marvel Cinematic Universe and introduces eight or 10 major characters. It's a lot to take in, and if given an Eternals pop quiz, it’s likely that most viewers — including this reviewer — would flunk it.

Even MCU completists are likely to leave the film with their heads spinning from the onslaught of new heroes and information — and not exactly in a hurry to sort it out. That shrug response comes as a major surprise, especially with a likable cast and reigning Best Director winner Chloé Zhao (Nomadland; The Rider) behind the camera. However, beyond a few scenes shot in her go-to setting of South Dakota, her mark isn’t present on this overlong, frequently dull film.

Nevertheless, she juggles the movie's many plot threads and characters reasonably well, partly thanks to at least three versions of the screenplay with four credited writers, the final script by Zhao alone. The whole thing boils down fairly simply: A group of about 10 immortals, each with a different superpower, was sent to Earth 5,000 years ago to guard humanity against some CG-standard tooth-and-claw monsters called Deviants. Since the Eternals believed the Deviants were all defeated 500 or so years ago, they split up and blended into different human communities around the globe. Then the Deviants come back, and the Eternals regroup, eventually learning that their mission has a darker side.

It’s a fine basic premise, but the whole “getting the band back together” approach takes forever. Fellow 2021 release Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (132 minutes) set a new record for longest MCU introductory chapter and mostly warrants the length, but Eternals’ 157 proves excessive and unearned. Mixed in there is one of the most drawn-out info dumps from a modern comic book film — and even with the padded runtime, it’s difficult to have a good sense for who any of these characters are.

Nevertheless, a few make their mark, namely Marvel’s first gay superhero, inventor Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry, Atlanta) — who even gets to kiss his husband onscreen — and Sersi (Gemma Chan), whose struggles with cosmic morality make her as close to a protagonist as we get. The bigger names — Salma Hayak as Ajak and Angelina Jolie as Thena — do their best to project star power from less developed roles.

Elsewhere, Kumail Nanjiani is his usual hilarious self as Kingo, who's spent the last century posing as multiple generations of Bollywood stars, and Harish Patel earns plenty of laughs as his trusted assistant Karun, who's in on the Eternals' secret.

But the draggy pace, Superman stand-in — prototype, technically — Ikaris (Richard Madden, Game of Thrones), and other elements makes it feel like Marvel’s first DCEU movie. Though the special effects work is impressive and clearly the next step up the MCU’s technical ladder, and there's a decent amount of MCU-style humor in this, er, MCU film, the lack of a worthy narrative makes it feel like a clunky new direction for the studio.

Grade: C-plus. Rated PG-13. Now playing at AMC River Hills 10, Asheville Pizza & Brewing, Carolina Cinemark, and Regal Biltmore Grande

(Photo: Walt Disney Pictures)