Sonic the Hedgehog, the much-anticipated (?) adaptation of SEGA’s flagship video game, isn’t as bad as many viewers feared, but it’s still nowhere near a good movie.

Directed by relative newcomer Jeff Fowler and written by Patrick Casey and Josh Miller — apparently when they were in 6th grade — the story is basic, and the jokes are corny as hell and mostly land with a resounding thud, but surprisingly decent special effects and an uptempo pace manage to spottily hold viewer attention.

Saddled with a rote origin story involving dimension-transporting gold rings and extraordinary speed, our mammalian (?) hero (voiced by Ben Schwartz, John-Ralphio from Parks & Recreation) eventually finds his way to Earth and enjoys an existence in rural Montana that consists of spying on police chief Tom Wachowski (James Marsden) and his wife Maddie (Tika Sumpter, Southside with You), pretending to be part of their family without their knowledge.

Frustrated with his solitude, our hero has an extreme pity party that works him into a shockwave tizzy, causing an EMP-like power outage that baffles The Pentagon, which sends in brilliant nut-job Dr. Ivo Robotnik (a mustachioed Jim Carrey) to — well, it’s not exactly clear. Initially recruited as a measure of national security, once the blue speedster reveals himself, the hunt mostly becomes a personal challenge for Robotnik, with a dash of professional research on the side.

Regardless, the mission allows Carrey the opportunity to embarrass himself at every turn, spouting ridiculous lines and engaging in sad physical comedy, though he’s so committed to the dopey part that it’s kind of a commendable performance.

His inanity at least spices up Sonic’s and Tom’s dull road trip to San Francisco to reclaim the aforementioned rings. Also somewhat raising the film’s pulse are half-assed nod to Quicksilver’s show-stopping sequences from the last three X-Men films — sorta-fun scenes where, due to Sonic’s elite speed, everyone around him moves in slow motion, allowing him to manipulate them to occasionally comedic ends.

But more often than not, Sonic the Hedgehog is committed to juvenile yuks and such head-scratching moments as one of the most nakedly blatant product placements this side of a Michael Bay movie. If a sequel indeed emerges from the rubble, as is teased at the end, it will be one of cinema’s greatest miracles — and possibly one of its greatest tragedies.

Grade: C-minus. Rated PG. Now playing at AMC Classic, Biltmore Grande, and Carolina Cinemark

(Photo: Paramount Pictures/Sega of America)