M3GAN

A tonal mess of…well…more than doll-sized proportions, M3GAN is handicapped by a PG-13 rating that limits its bite and filmmakers who aren’t sure what kind of movie they’re creating.

Such ends are perhaps expected from the team behind the ridiculous Malignant, but not New Zealand filmmaker Gerard Johnstone, who’s pulled here in as an unfortunate accomplice.

Though the “humanoid AI doll breaks bad” tale from screenwriter Akela Cooper — who also gets story credit alongside James Wan — occasionally resembles the horror/comedy of Johnstone’s excellent Housebound, it struggles to maintain consistency. Viewers prone to neck injuries would be wise to prepare for the whiplash of connecting impromptu pop songs and silly commercials about farting toys to fatal car accidents and killer robots — that is if they can stay awake long enough to experience the minimal payoffs.

In the wake of the aforementioned incident that leaves young Cady (Violet McGraw, quite possibly the most dour child actor working today) an orphan, living with her comically unprepared toy-maker aunt Gemma (Allison Williams, Get Out), the film takes forever to get going. Perhaps aware that she only has enough material for a short film, Cooper pads the runtime with half-baked scenes of office politics at Gemma’s workplace while Cady heals with help from her lab-built companion.

Once the ever-evolving MEGAN finally acts up — in the name of protecting her human, of course! — some amusing lines (e.g. a brat cussing out his clueless mom) and sights (M3GAN transforming into a gazelle/spider hybrid while pursuing her prey) emerge, but don’t amount to much nor come close to counteracting the lousy, lazy script.

When Cooper isn’t making eyes roll with her dialogue, she’s inviting head-scratching with such barely developed subplots like a disgruntled employee stealing company secrets. That’s not to say any of these flimsy characters are written up beyond a trait or two — and isn’t this just escapism anyway? Why should any of these standards matter if viewers get to see a creepy doll go on a murderous rampage?

Indeed, such wild visuals would ideally suffice, yet the dearth of M3GAN attacks, the lack of stakes surrounding her actions, and zero reason to care about those she hurts blunt the impact of her doings. After this and Malignant, maybe it’s time for the once-great Wan to count his pre-2020 horror wins and stick to superhero movies.

Grade: C-minus. Rated PG-13. Now playing at AMC River Hills 10, Carolina Cinemark, and Regal Biltmore Grande.

(Photo: Universal)